


stand back where you stood (i wish you would)

by gg16



Category: To All the Boys I've Loved Before Series - Jenny Han, To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before (2018)
Genre: AU, F/M, Future Fic, Kid Fic, Kinda angsty in the beginning but the fluff is coming, but covinsky forever, past/ kinda present peter/gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-12
Updated: 2018-09-18
Packaged: 2019-07-11 07:48:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15967892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gg16/pseuds/gg16
Summary: Part of her wished she hadn't picked up the phone when Gabe called, desperate for someone to help Peter. Part of her wished she didn’t have a different very nice man waiting for her to give him an answer on their future.  Part of her wished she hadn't gone to the wedding, knowing she would get hurt. Part of her wished she hadn't broken up with Peter to begin with.But she couldn't change any of that now. Now, she could only begin to heal: herself, Peter, and her sisters.





	1. Prologue

There was no screaming or yelling or anger when they ended. Well, that’s not true- when they broke up there was no screaming, but 2 days later when Lara Jean realized she couldn’t just text Peter that she just finished studied for 5 hours straight and needed a brain break, there may have been some screaming into her pillow of all the emotions that overcame her which turned to crying which then lead to her oversleeping and missing her test. Despite this, Lara Jean didn’t feel hatred or angry at Peter after their breakup, which sometimes she thinks would’ve been better, a clean break like so many of her other friends got- some shots, a dramatic haircut, deleting all the lovey posts, then move on. This way, the distance, and the crying and the love from both sides, this attempt at being friends seemed so much harder, like they were so close yet so far.

___

She really doesn’t expect it but at the same time it seems so obvious. It was Gen- and- Peter since 7th grade, them breaking up for a couple years and reconnecting after college actually sounds so romantic like something out of those Hallmark movies she loves. They are 24, only 2 years after graduating college, and 3 since the breakup. Peter Kavinsky and Lara Jean Song Covey stayed true to their promise of staying friends, even going to each others graduations.

Ironically, Lara Jean found out about Peter and Gen at a Christmas party Gabe was hosting with the people in town visiting their parents. They were already there when she arrived, but they were each with their own friends and when she ran into Gen in the kitchen she was surprised and proud of herself for making polite small talk. Apparently, they had both grown up in college and no longer needed to hold onto highschool drama. Even Chris would admitted it once, during one of her calls from Costa Rica, that when she had come back to the States for her grandma’s 90th birthday, Gen had _“gotten marginally less annoying and wasn’t acting like a complete bitch”._

No, Gen didn’t throw her new relationship to her face, Lara Jean found out at the end of the night when she was grabbing her coat and looked out the window- Gen and Peter had left a few minutes earlier, separately, but Lara Jean could see Peter holding her hand and them walking together to his car. Peter told her the next day when he picked up Kitty for ice cream, back home from her freshman year at UVA for winter break. She couldn’t even say anything except congratulations and that she was happy for him, because she was moving on too. She was dating Brandon and was filled with joy with him. When Lara Jean informed Kitty of this, she responded with a sharp “You’re moving on. He’s moving back.”

___

The flowers were fresh, the dress was beautiful, the church was packed.

_“And now by the power vested in me by the State of Virginia, I hereby pronounce you, husband and wife. Peter, you may now kiss your bride.”_

His eyes shone bright, their lips met, and the moment was perfect.

_“Ladies and gentlemen, I now present to you Peter and Genevieve Kavinsky.”_

Lara Jean was not standing up at the altar. She was in the middle of 4th row with Kitty, Margot, Trina, and her father on one side and Brandon on the other. She felt herself tearing up, but squeezed her eyes so tight to will them away and convince herself that it was because she was naturally a romantic and the wedding had been so beautiful.

___

Years had passed. Years. Why did his name still make these butterflies come up like this? Never mind he’d gotten married and she was engaged.

 _“Largie, you there?”_ Gabe was waiting for her to respond. She was surprised when he called, forgoing text or snapchat, but was even more surprised by the request he made.

_“Yeah, I’m still here. But I’m not sure what you want me to do. What’s wrong with him?”_

_“I don’t know- I mean you’ll see, he’s different. I think it’s best if you heard it from him about what going on. But I think he needs help, your help. A friend.”_

_“You’re his friend-_

_“Of course I am and Peter’s my boy, but he won’t talk to me or anyone about this.”_

_“And you really think he’ll open up to me?”_

_“Yes. And I know you’ll do it.”_

Part of her was a little peeved that Gabe thought he could just call her up and assume she’d drop everything to help him, rather- Peter, who was still technically her ex, but as annoying as it was, he was right.

_“Ok, but you should know we’re just friends and it’s gonna stay like that.”_

_“But Largie, I’m here trying to practice my Cupid skills and get y’all both laid-”_

_“Gabe,”_ she warned, it had been nearly 10 years since they had graduated high school and there was still a childish side to him that she usually adored, but right now found frustrating, _“friends. I’m doing this as a friend and I don’t even know what I am doing. Or why you think he needs me, but I’ll do it.”_

“ _Thanks for this_ ,” his tone grew quiet, “ _for doing this for him._ ”


	2. Chapter 1

It had been a while since she had been back to her hometown. Longer than she’d like, but since the funeral the city that had been filled with warm memories of her family, friends, and first love had become just a little more cloudy. The bar she had walked into was new, well it was old, but since leaving for college in North Carolina, then working in New York, only coming home over the holidays to visit her sisters and Dad and Trina- she wasn’t really seeking out bars alone, and if she was with Chris or Lucas a dance floor or karaoke bar was required.

A head of dark brown curls came into her line of vision,  a shadow gracing his face, but he definitely didn’t look like he belonged in this run down institution. He held a full glass of beer in front of him, closing his eyes as he took a sip, keeping to himself.

“Can I get a- Peter?!” Technically, her surprise was a little manufactured, when Gabe told her when she’d be arriving, he gave a rundown of Peter’s whole schedule and informed her of the bar Peter came in once a week, only for one drink, for a break from the real world.  

The man next to her sat up in surprise as his eyes widened. “Lara Jean? I didn’t know you were in town?”

“Yeah, I don’t have any projects right now so I got a small break from work and now I’m just wandering. What are you doing here? And what are you drinking?” Lara Jean reached forward to take a sip from the glass, but as the amber liquid trailed down her throat, she shuddered from the taste.

A small smile graced his face, “Pumpkin beer and I’m guessing you didn’t like it that much,” evading her first question.

But Lara Jean was here for a reason and continued to press, “Not trying to get drunk, huh, you’ve got to get home to Gen and-" 

“Amelia. I have to get home to Mia. I couldn’t give a damn about Gen.”

Lara Jean quieted for a moment, shocked by his brashness, but the moment passed and as they both knew, she was a naturally inquisitive person “What happened?”, she whispered.

Peter stared at her for a full minute; he hadn’t even seen her in months and she just ripped the bandaid off. There really was no one like her. Shaking his head he replied, “Found her in bed with another guy. I didn’t say anything to her. Just picked up Mia from the babysitter’s, booked tickets to come back here, and texted her that I’ll mail the divorce papers to her.”

Lara Jean could sense he was compartmentalizing this like he had with everything with his father, and she could only see the tip of the iceberg.

“Come on. Apparently we have a lot of catching up to do.” She dragged him away from the bar stool, into one of the corner booths and tried to turn the conversation to a lighter topic. “How is Amelia?”

“She’s good, she misses you,” Lara Jean wasn’t sure if she should believe him; she hadn’t seen the girl since she was a few months old, but the gesture was nice. “Turned 3 last month. Seems different since we moved. Quiet.” Yeah, she’s not the only one.

Peter expected her to fill the silence, but when she didn’t, he continued. “But it’s alright. I want to put her in this new preschool soon and get her around kids her own age.” There was a light touch of sorrow in his words before he shook his head and plastered on a fake smile. “Enough about me and my wife who left me and our daughter after only 3 ½ years of marriage. What about you? What brings you into town?”

Lara Jean took note of his ‘joke’ before replying, “Like I said, I don’t have any projects right now for work and if I get something tomorrow, the beauty of having my own web design business means I can work from wherever I want. I’m just wandering and I guess I came back to what’s familiar.”

“Really? You- ” He was interrupted by his phone ringing and Lara Jean swears she saw ‘Kitty’ on the caller ID. “Hey is everything alright?”

“Yes, everything is fine. No need to go all Papa Bear on me. Amy is asleep. Just checking in if you’re on your way home,” a familiar voice rang out as Lara Jean tried very hard not to eavesdrop.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I’m catching up with-” Peter saw Lara Jean’s eyes widen as she shook her head, “an old friend. I’ll be back soon,” before hanging up the phone.

“Surprising Kitty?” 

“Yeah, kind of. I didn’t know she babysat for Amelia?” The topic never came up on their three way video calls with Margot in London and Lara Jean in New York, but recently it seemed like their calls seemed to glaze over everything.

“Mhm, ran into her one day at the grocery store and she offered and it’s so helpful on the days my mom can’t take Mia. Although, I was a little surprised to see her that day and every day she shows up. I guess I always thought Kitty would be living it up in LA or NYC or Chicago after graduating, making the world her bitch.”

Lara Jean had always thought that, too. Kitty was the most popular of the sister and seemed to want to explore, but after their dad passed away, she moved back home. She said it was to be with Trina but Margot and Lara Jean both knew it was more than that. Of course, they all loved and missed their father, but Kitty was the one who got the most one on one time with him after Lara Jean left for UNC, so they stayed quiet and let her do what she thought was best. Lara Jean stayed quiet now too, trying to avoid any worry from Peter, or pity that usually came up in people’s eyes when she brought up her father, “Yeah”.

“Here, I can give you a ride back to my place and you can surprise her now.” A smirk graced his face as he said “ I love seeing a Covey sisters’ reunion”

___

The ride back to Peter’s was quiet with the radio filling the silence between them. They weren’t going back to Peter’s childhood home; they pulled up to a smaller home that seemed to be perfect for a father and daughter. Only the living room light was on as Peter walked in first, Lara Jean hung back in the foyer, letting her eyes take everything in as she waited for the perfect moment to walk in. The house was charming, homely, she saw children’s drawings and peeked around to see a medium sized kitchen, three doors on one side, she assumed were bedrooms.

“Old friend, huh? Someone I know?”

“Maybe… actually she’s here”

“Oh Peter, Amelia’s asleep if you two are going to, you know, hook up, but I’d make sure to lock the door.”

“No! That’s not what I meant- I meant if you remembered her”

Lara Jean took that as her cue to walk in. “Surprise”

“LARA JEAN”

“Shhh… you said you just got Amelia asleep,” but Kitty wasn’t listening to Peter anymore as she launched herself into her big sister’s arms. The two of them held on so tight, and watching from the outside, Peter was reminded of the days his first few years in college when him, Kitty, and Lara Jean were no longer just a 5 minute drive apart, and how attached they got to each other during break and free weekends when Lara Jean could come home.

“What are you doing here?”

“Just taking a break from work, thought I’d come home.”

“Oh my god, where are you staying?”

“Honestly, I know it’s short notice but I was hoping to crash with you. I mean, that’s what sisters are for right.”

Kitty snorted, “Sure you can stay with me, but you’re staying on the couch.”

“C’mon Kitty.”

“I’m not giving up my beauty sleep.” Ah, same old Kitty.

“You can stay with me.” Peter didn’t even realize the words were coming out of his mouth till he finished. He didn’t even have to offer its not like her next option was sleeping on the street- Trina still lived in their childhood home although on the other side of town, and Lara Jean felt comfortable enough staying with her. But he offered, and intended to follow through on it. “I mean, it sure beats sleeping on some 25 year old’s ratty old couch.”

“Hey! I found that when Lara Jean made me go to that flea market with her over Christmas and it’s actually very comfortable,” Kitty piped up.

“Are you sure? I don’t want to impose.”

“I’d be more than happy.  I mean, as long as you’re ok with being woken up to the sound of Peppa Pig, it’s no problem for me.”

Lara Jean ignored Kitty’s raised eyebrows as she replied, “Ok, let me get my stuff from your car.”

_____

Peter and Lara Jean waved Kitty off as she drove off, not before Lara Jean and Kitty made plans for the next day. As they turned around back into the house, Peter started up “Let me grab a change of clothes and brush my teeth then my bedroom is all yours.”

“Peter Kavinsky, it’s your house, I can-”

“Don’t even say it,” he paused for a moment, “how about no one takes the couch? I have a King and we’re still friends and I wouldn’t mind sharing.  I mean, if you’re fine with that,” rushing out the tail end of the sentence.

Lara Jean looked up into Peter’s eyes as she had so many times before, “Ok, if you’re sure.”

“Yeah, although I’m not sure what I’m getting myself into, every time you fall asleep you move around like a tornado so I won’t be surprised if I find myself on the floor in the morning.”

Before Lara Jean could reply, there was a strong call for Peter from one of the bedrooms, “DADDY!”

Both adults jumped up, surprised at the interruption, before Peter rushed to the bedroom; Lara Jean following behind. They walked into Amelia’s room, filled with toys and stuffed animals against the wall. Lara Jean smiled as she remembered how she would set up a rotation with her stuffed animals to make sure they didn’t sad and she slept with each of them fairly.

“There-there was a monster!” Mia said through tears.

Peter brought her into his lap and started rubbing her back, as she calmed down he whispered into her ear, “Look who's here Mia, do you remember Lara Jean?”

Mia looked up and stared at the woman in front of her; Lara Jean couldn’t blame her, the last time she had visited, Mia had only been a year old. “Largie?” Apparently her Uncle Gabe had been rubbing off on her. Peter smiled, the first real smile she had seen all night as he made eye contact with her and did a half shrug.

Lara Jean knelt down so she was face- to- face with the young girl. “You don’t have to worry about monsters. Your daddy is very strong. But, you know what, so are you!”

Mia giggled, her tears now dry, as she sprang up in Peter’s lap nearly hitting him in the face. She turned to look at her father and exclaimed, “Can we cuddle, Daddy?”

“I dunno Mia, Lara Jean is tired and she was going to-”

“Lara Jean can cuddle too! You, me, and Lara Jean!”

And that’s how they lied in Peter’s bed. Neither adult expected anything more, but the toddler sleeping next to them kept the two exes a safe distance from each other as they both fell asleep replaying the surprising events of the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the nice comments and kudos on the last chapter! There's a mix of references from the books and movies like the line about LJ being a "naturally inquisitive person" Let me know what you think about this one!


	3. Chapter 2

It was overcast when he woke up, which was kinda how he felt. Recently he knew he had been digging himself into a hole with only Mia there- speaking of- _where was his daughter?_ This was the first time in a while he had been able to sleep in. He blinked to clear the sleep from his eyes and looked over to the other side of his bed he was reminded of his guest who was missing to. Did she leave as well?

Peter didn’t have to look far once he left his bedroom to find the two other inhabitants. Lara Jean and Mia were in the kitchen cooking something up. Mia was standing on a chair when he heard Lara Jean call out “Ok, now mix that all together _really_ well.” He stood at the doorway watching the scene in front of him for a minute before Lara Jean looked up and finally made eye contact with him.

“Sorry about the mess, Mia and I both woke up and I figured I’d let you sleep in and thought about baking something for breakfast”

_____

Lara Jean had woken up and walked around the house, seeing the 3rd door in the hallway was a makeshift office filled mostly with boxes still needing to be unpacked. Upstairs was just a media room and a bathroom with a projector but she could see toy box and blankets that were presumably Mia’s. She came back downstairs and heard Mia waking and brought her outside, letting Peter sleep in. If the tiredness and worry lines she had seen on his face the night before were any indication, he definitely needed it. Mia took charge, taking her hand and sitting the both of them down on the couch so they could Mickey Mouse Clubhouse together. It wasn’t until Lara Jean heard her own stomach rumbling that she figured the young girl next to her needed some nutrition too. She looked around and found a good amount of baking materials and thought they could work together to make some banana nut muffins before Peter woke up.

“And I thought Mia by herself was a handful,” his tone growing lighter.

“Hey!” Lara Jean paused as she watched Mia mix the bowl of ingredients with all the concentration she could muster, “ I’ll be honest I was surprised. You have a fully stocked house-slash-kitchen including all the supplies to make banana nut muffins." 

“Well they haven’t been used yet, so thanks for finally bringing them out of the pantry, as for the rest of the house, what did you expect?”

I’m not sure, drawings on the walls, toys everywhere, I guess.”

“Well,” Peter looked over to his daughter whose arm seemed to be getting tired from all the mixing, “we had a small incident with some markers, but Mia knows to put her toys away.”

“Like a big girl!” The toddler finally piped up, “I’m done!”

____

“So what’s your plan?”

“Um, don’t really have one besides visit Kitty and Trina and work when clients email me.”

“Ah I see… well, you’re welcome to stay as long as you’d like.”

Despite the lightheartedness from the first morning, Lara Jean watched Peter carefully for the rest of the week.  Sunday, she didn’t have plans with Kitty till later, so she had time to absorb the Peter in front of her, quiet, mainly focused on Mia, going through the motions to keep Mia happy and healthy. Lara Jean knew better than anyone that people change and grow up as they enter adulthood, but not like this, where was the bright-eyed Peter she knew and loved (much longer than she should have)? Gen wasn’t brought up again, which she understood seeing as Mia was with them most of the time, but Peter didn’t really say anything of substance to her at all, mostly contemplating silently, only speaking up to respond to Mia. Amelia filled any silence, chattering about, and later Peppa Pig helped too. Every night Lara Jean would lie next to him, watching him as he slept, wanting to reach out and heal all his scars.

They were baking again, Mia was trying to do everything at once; she was going around in a rush despite not having consumed any sugar yet. She ran around the kitchen trying to help ‘Largie’-

“I found the pink bowl!”  while Lara Jean whispered, “How does she have this much energy?”

“Can’t keep up, Covey?”, Peter whispered back smiling as he watched his daughter.

Lara Jean had put Mia in charge of sifting the flour, although a majority of it was getting on the young girl’s apron and space around her because of her violent shaking.

“She really loves messing with the flour,” Lara Jean could hear her babbling on how it’s becoming a big mountain. Peter held his gaze on Amelia, getting her hands all floury, “Yeah, messes all around her,” before growing quiet again. Lara Jean sensed the hidden meaning and for a second considered broaching the topic of his ex-wife again while Mia was distracted and out of ear shot, but before she could the doorbell rang.

Peter had moved behind Mia and was showing her how to be gentle with the sifter, so Lara Jean wiped her hands on her own apron, which she recognized as the aprons she had given to Peter back when they were dating in college and he was living in an apartment with roommates, so she could make baked goods for him there when she went up to visit him. She went to open the door and was met with two teenage boys standing there-

“Mrs. Kavinsky?”

The assumption shocked Lara Jean for a moment, “No sorry, just a friend were you looking for Peter?”

“Yeah we were looking for Coach.”

“Hold on I’ll go get him.”

“Lara Jean who’s at the door?” Peter called out peeking around the corner, “Oh, hey Adam and Ryan what can I do for you?”  

Lara Jean took this as her cue to check back on Mia in the kitchen. She was finishing up with everything Mia could help her on when she told her,  “Mia, I think it’s time for your bath.“

“But Largie I want to see the cake”

“And if you take a bath and get all clean like a big girl, I will let you have the first piece. Ok?”

“Yay! Ok!”

Lara Jean got Mia situated in the bathroom when she walked out and saw Peter wiping down the counters. “Everything alright?”

Peter looked up at her, “Yeah fine, they just wanted to talk about tryouts. They’re seniors on the team and I only joined at end of last year for like 2 weeks so…”

“Tryouts?” How did she miss this?

“Yeah, I’m starting work at the highschool tomorrow. Coaching their lacrosse team, and teaching an economics class.” It’s what made sense and with his finance degree and history playing lacrosse at UVA, it was easy for him to get the job when he first returned to Charlottesville the end of last school year.

They talk about him coaching for sometime, how things have changed since he was in high school, how he didn’t even he realized he missed it until he stepped back on that lacrosse field again. The more he talked about his coaching plans the more lit up he got like he did when he was with Mia.

“... Although there is this one kid who’s dad also played lacrosse and now thinks he’s hot shit, so I’m gonna have to knock him down a couple pegs as practice starts.”

Lara Jean laughed, “Oh yeah, Brandon told me about how he played football all his life leading up to highschool, but when he stepped onto the high school football field, he got the wind knocked out of him by some senior,” she internally panicked for a moment bringing up Brandon, but when Peter didn’t react, she relaxed, after all Brandon’s her boyfri-fiance, she should be able to talk about him.

“I hate to go all Soccer Mom, or rather Lacrosse Dad, but I hope Mia likes lacrosse when she grows up, too.”

Lara Jean just smiled and took the washcloth from him, “You’re a good dad, Peter Kavinsky.”

Peter blushed and looked away, “I’m doing the best I can alone. I mean, I know I’m not alone with Kitty and my mom and you’ve been so… it’s just….”

“Does she wonder? About-” Lara Jean couldn’t bring herself to say Gen’s name, not when he was obviously still hurting- “her mom?” She remembered how Kitty would call for ‘Mama’ when she was about Mia’s age because she didn’t understand what happened to her,

“Sometimes, but she’s little and then I try to distract her and it seems to work, for now.” He didn’t say anything after that, ending their conversation.

“I’m going to check in on Mia,” he said turning away but before walking away he turned back to her and said so lightly- “I just wanted things to be different for her.”

___

Lara Jean spend days with at Peter’s house, sometimes having lunch or dinner with Kitty and Trina, talk to Margot or her friends back in NYC, and working from home. She didn’t want to impose on Peter, but she felt like she couldn’t leave him yet. She hung out with Mia a lot, doing crafts and baking; Margot on the other side of the Atlantic, was worried about her playing house but Kitty took her side and informed her that “Lara Jean is helping and everything’s fine, now how are my nephews?”

Things seemed alright, maybe not normal, but peaceful. That was until one day she was making lunch for Mia who was at daycare for a couple hours in the morning, about to go her pick up while Peter’s at the high school. Lara Jean had just gotten off the phone with a client, who was wondering why they couldn’t meet face to face to discuss every particular thing they wanted, when phone starts ringing again. Lara Jean thought it was the client wanting to make another last minute request but realized it was the home phone, a phone that rarely rang, and barely used; she could see the flashing light saying there were 18 unheard messages, probably all spam, but when Lara Jean picked up the phone this time she heard a familiar voice-

“Hello”

“Hi, who is this?”

“I’m sorry, I think I have the wrong number. I’m looking for Peter Kavinsky.” Lara Jean knew that voice. She heard it all her life. Genevieve.

“This is his number.” Lara Jean tried to make her voice sound flat, but knew that a mix of anger, sadness, and pain was coming up for herself, but also for Peter.

“Can I leave a message I need to speak to him?”

“I don’t think there’s anything Peter wants to hear from you,” Lara Jean bit back. It may seem petty like she was holding on to a high school grudge or like a jealous ex-girlfriend but she had seen first hand what Gen had done to Peter and Mia and couldn’t resist the anger spilling out.

“Lara Jean?”

She stayed silent.

“Well, I can’t say I’m surprised,” Lara Jean was about to interrupt her and ask what she meant by that but Gen continued talking, “you still say his name like you used to.”

_‘Like the last time she had to pick up the pieces after you left him for another man?”_ she thought. But she didn’t bother responding, just hung up the phone and took a deep breath. There was a few more minutes before she had to leave to pick up Mia, and she might have spread the almond butter and jelly a little harder than usual, but Lara Jean had to force down all these emotions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think! I know im putting LJ and peter through a lot but don't worry fluffier chapters are coming!


	4. Chapter 3

Lara Jean didn’t bring up the phone call to Peter. She should’ve, it was the polite thing to do, but how do you bring that up? _Hey, by the way your ex-wife that you’ve had an on and off relationship with since we were 12 and your only serious relationship you’ve had besides me called today, but don’t call her back it’s probably not healthy._ Yeah, that’ll go over really well. Lara Jean kept that information to herself, pasting a big smile on her face when she picked up Mia and again a couple hours later when she heard the door opening and Peter coming in.

“So I have a crazy amount of quizzes to grade but on the bright side I brought pizza”

“Hm, well it’s the tiny pleasures.”

“How was your day?”

“Someone’s feeling talkative.” Peter gave her a look, so she shifted back to his question, “Alright, spent the day getting to know a new client.” Lara Jean turned away, knowing that if he saw her face, he would know she wasn’t telling him something.

“And later I caught the news, I think a storm is going to be coming in soon. I think-”

“Do y’all have food?!” Lara Jean suddenly heard with the pictures shaking as the door slammed.

“I sometimes regret giving Kitty a spare key,” Peter muttered. Lara Jean shook her head as Kitty walked into the kitchen chaos following her as apparently Mia heard her come in and sprinted down to see her.

“Auntie Kitty, you won’t believe what happened today?!”

“What happened?”

“We watched Annie where Annie went to go live in a BIG city with all these cars and houses and people and birds and so much!”

“Oh wow! Speaking of big cities,” Kitty continued kneeling down next to Mia, but looked up to her sister and Peter, “I have a flight to Chicago next Thursday for a job interview.”

“That’s great, Kitty!”

“Yeah, I’ll go for the interview but beyond that I don’t think I’m going to take it. I don’t want to move all the way to Chicago.”

“Are you sure? You haven’t even gone yet.”

“Yup,” Kitty replied turning her attention to the toddler in front of her. Lara Jean frowned; Kitty was like Margot, she always had big dreams, and although she stayed the closest for college at UVA, it was understood among the Song Covey sisters that she would be flying high. Still, she didn’t say anything, wanting to discuss the recent events with Margot before confronting their youngest sister. Peter opened the pizza boxes as he heard Kitty’s stomach grumble, and they each grabbed a piece before making their way to the dining room table. Lara Jean was about to join them when she looked down at her phone and saw a message from Brandon.

_Hey, just wanted to see how you were doing? Can you talk?_

Lara Jean’s stomach dropped as she read the text, it sounded innocent enough, but her timing to return home wasn’t great. Brandon proposed to her and she left town almost immediately; part of her said yes to Gabe for selfish reasons, so she an excuse to come home alone. She loved Brandon enough to stay with him for almost 4 years now, but when he got down on one knee a panic built up inside of her that her only response was to run. She thought back to the last conversation she had with him- “ _I need to go home, I haven't visited Kitty and actually gone back to Charlottesville since the funeral and you know Skype isn’t the same._ ” Lara Jean didn’t want to lie to him and even told him about Peter and a couple other friends being back in town for the summer- but neither of them thought she would be here for this long, which is exactly what Brandon said after she found the courage to actually call him.

“I still need to be here. Things are… complicated.  Kitty, she might be giving up a big opportunity and-”

“Lara Jean, I think you need to be honest with yourself and your feelings,” Lara Jean took in a small bout of air, “You haven’t been yourself for a while now and I think my proposal just pushed you away…”

“... Brandon...”

“You seem, I don’t know, scared, to open up and commit to something lifelong and I don’t know if it’s because of your dad and you are still grieving or if it’s something else.”

“What are you saying?” Lara Jean knew what he was saying because this wasn’t the first time this conversation had happened to her.

“I think we need a break, I think you need to sort yourself out. Figure out what you really want,” The line grew silent as Lara Jean didn’t say anything to protest, she couldn’t say anything because he was right. Brandon took that as his cue to hang up “Goodbye, Lara Jean.”

“Brandon…. Thank you… I, I think you’re right and I’m sorry.”

“Yeah me too. Call me when you’re ready to talk.”

Lara Jean hung up the phone and leaned against dresser, closing her eyes and turned  her head up to the ceiling. She let all her feelings run through her body, and after a moment’s break Lara Jean stood back up, slowly taking the ring off her finger. Even if they hadn’t fully broken up, it still felt wrong to wear it.

As she walked back into the dining room, the adults had their attention on the young girl as she rambled on about a big butterfly she saw at school today that was “red and orange and yellow and soooo pretty”. She joined Kitty with her pizza slices, diving right into the conversation about what Mia had learned from Ms.Emily that day. Kitty looked over at her, and simply tilted her head to the side, sisterly intuition getting her attention and almost instantly she looked at Lara Jean’s empty ring finger. Kitty looked back up, Lara Jean opened and closed her mouth, unable to explain her feelings, so soon after and in front of Peter and Mia and settled on mouthing “Talk later” to her younger sister.

_____

“Ok we need a new floor lamp, now that we’ve learned not to pull cords that are on the floor, right Amelia? Mia?”

Peter looked around IKEA, his two companions now missing. The crash of the lamp earlier that day motivated them to make their way to the furniture store/maze, but he was suddenly all alone before he saw the raven-haired woman making exaggerated movements, turning from side to side.

She took the words right out of his mouth, “HAVE YOU SEEN MIA?”

Peter’s eyes grew, “What! I thought she was with you?” He started frantically looking around, before sighting two pink light up shoes and realizing his daughter had been behind a translucent curtain with the outline of a young child that was being showcased in the store.

“Oh there she-”

“Shhh!” Lara Jean quickly and quietly interrupted him, and with a wink called out louder, “Hmm… I wonder where she is…”

The two friends could hear giggles before the three year old popped out from behind the curtain, “Here I am!”

“There you are, Amelia!”

They went around the store talking dressers and mirrors, Amelia taking turns between holding hands with one adult and pulling them around to try out all the bed and chairs and let the other push the cart.

\----

Unloading the new furniture and the little decorations for around the house was a two person job, with Mia sitting on the steps of the house, ordering her father and Lara Jean around like she was running the place. Peter had just taking in the last load of things, and organizer for the pantry and hooks for the wall as Lara Jean did a final check and locked up the car. She picked up Mia and her lovey and carried her in her arms, the young girl blinking her eyes tiredly after a long day running around the iconic Swedish store.

“I know Mia, but let’s get you in the bath, then we’ll have dinner, and then it’ll be bedtime!”

“It’s ‘kay. I’m not sleepy.”

“No? Well, I’m sooooo sleepy I think I need a bedtime story.”

“Tell one!”

“You’ll tell me one?” Lara Jean said tweaking Mia’s nose as they walked in to the house; Peter rustling about, unpacking the bags, when they heard a phone ringing.

“No, Largie you tell me one!”

“Hmm… ok… but _only_ if you’re a good girl and finish _all_ of your dinner only then I’ll tell you a good story about a brave doctor and the kind rockstar who save the world.  ”

“I promise Largie!” Mia exclaimed, but Lara Jean wasn’t listening, her attention had shifted the second she heard _“Gen?”_ off in the distance.

“Largie? Largie?” Mia repeated trying to wake the frozen woman holding her as they stood in the foyer.

Lara Jean tore herself away from eavesdropping and turned to Mia, “You know, you might be able to have dinner with Auntie Kitty and get her to tell you a bedtime story. We’ll, uh” she paused again to try to listen to the conversation between Peter and his ex-wife, but he wasn’t saying anything. He walked past them and into his office, shutting the door behind him. Mia looked up to Lara Jean, confused, but all she could do was put on a smile, pray that Kitty didn’t already have plans, and pretend like everything was ok for Mia, “You and Kitty can have a fun sleepover.”

* * *

 

send me a message at my tumblr [detectivejulesohara](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16765951/chapters/39338491/detectivejulesohara.tumblr.com)!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for all the kudos and comments it means a lot, sorry i gave you fluff then pulled the rug out from underneath you let me know what you think about everything that went down!


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